More about Fibromyalgia

Now I got this off of Facebook, and I have edited it to fit myself, because everything the lady stated is exactly  how I feel or think.


I have fibromyalgia, I do not like the word, it is a dumb word, or maybe I really don’t believe that, maybe it is a fine word, but because it is so misunderstood, it makes it dumb to me. I would almost go as far as to say I HATE the word, but they say that HATE is a strong term.

I do not Hate anything…The thing is I DO NOT HATE! I am usually happy go lucky- take everything in stride- I do like to live life to the fullest. I do not like to dwell on the past, I did for many years, it took a long time to figure it out – You cannot live in the past, you can only live for the now- and however, you decide to live creates a path for your future. I believe that everyone is a person of worth, I get confused when I find people degrading others, I just don’t get it, I just don’t like it, and I will more often than none tell that person that I do not like it. I have no use for people who do this.

Ideally I would love to live in a world free of anger, injustices, war, poverty, pain, sadness, hate…I think you get the point. Blah Blah blah

But I do hate…

I hate that people do not understand that ‘dumb’ word
I hate feeling tired
I hate my constant sniffling from my constant congestion
I hate having to take pills every day
I hate having to feel I have to explain that I don’t feel good
I hate having to try to explain ‘how’ I don’t feel good
I hate the way people look at me, when they don’t understand
I hate catching myself saying ‘my legs are sore’ when I don’t even realize I am saying it
I hate that one of my children heard me say my legs are sore(years ago) and responded ‘Your legs are always sore.’
I hate that I am too emotional
I hate that I cannot do everything I feel a mother should do
I hate that I get cranky
I hate when I get really happy(cause i know it won't last)
I hate that my hands are usually sore
I hate that I sleep too much
I hate that I cannot sleep
I hate falling asleep in class, at work
I hate having to take pills to keep me awake
I hate the burning
I hate the restlessness
I hate that I am normal one minute and not the next
I hate that I make plans, and do not follow through
I hate having itchy ears
I hate that my hair hurt
I hate that I can’t play ‘punch buggy’ with my daughter
I hate that I can’t concentrate
I hate that my brain feels like mush
I hate the phrase ‘fibro-fog’
I hate having to try to explain my confusion
I hate picking up my daughter only to have to set her down ‘cause it hurts
I hate not having energy
I hate sleep apnea
I hate my C-Pap machine
I hate the noise my ‘snorkel’ makes when it is not straight
I hate how my arms get cold from the expelled air from my snorkel
I hate the convenient six-foot hose that leads from my face to a machine every night
I hate that if I do not wear it I could die
I hate that it do don’t wear it I wake with a headache
I hate having cold feet
I hate having cold hands
I hate that I can’t find my keys when they are in my hands
I hate driving down the road, and realising I have no idea where I am going
I hate driving somewhere and wondering how I got there
I hate that I sit in front of my computer for 6,7,8,9 hours and accomplish nothing
I hate really wanting to jump into a class discussion only to forget what I wanted to say
I hate joining a discussion and forgetting words, after I have began speaking
I hate writing notes in class for two hours and not remembering that I wrote them
I hate that I cannot understand my own handwriting because my hands are tired
I hate having to go to the doctor and having him ask me ‘what can I do for you?’ when there is nothing he can do
I hate that people think that I am lazy
I hate that people think I am a hypochondriac
I hate that sometimes I think I am a hypochondriac
I hate that my body is tired when my mind is awake
I hate that my mind is tired when my body is awake
I hate IBS, ‘specially when it isn’t IBS
I hate panic attacks
I hate feeling claustrophobic all the time
I hate muscle spasms
I hate migraines
I hate crying one minute and laughing the next
I hate that I can remember stupid tidbits of information from 20 years ago but I can’t remember my children's names
I hate that I forget what I went to the store for
I hate making list so I don’t forget, then forget where the list is

This really explains it to a T. I want to help spread the word about Fibromyalgia to my friends, new and old. The more that know the better.
I hope you read the entire letter and not just skipped through it. I got to thinking about the amount of pills I take the other day, Jessie actually counted mine. I take 9 in the morning 2 in the afternoon and 2 at bed. thats insane! Most of them are vitamins in the am, but I often think am I ever gonna be off all these pills?
well this is a start back up to my blogs again. so stay tuned for a few more, I hope :~)